Guardianship of Minor Article


Selecting a Guardian for Your Minor Children

According to a recent survey, only 36% of U.S. parents with minor children have a will. This means that 64% of children do not have a legal guardian selected for them by their parents in the event of the unexpected. Instead, these children will be the subject of guardianship proceedings by the state court system and social services department. In the same way that parents aim to protect their children during life, parents should act to avoid such circumstances and instead ensure their children are well taken care of in the event something where to happen to them.

Choosing a guardian can be overwhelming. Many couples have not finalized their will and estate plans simply because they cannot agree on a guardian. Parents should not delay for this reason. Parents should think about what qualities are most important to them in a possible future caretaker for their children. Consider the following questions:
  • Who will love your children in your absence?
  • Who will afford your children a safe, stable environment?
  • Are there social or religious qualities that are important to you?
  • Where do you want your children to live and be raised?
  • Who has qualities you respect and admire and would want passed on to your children?
  • Would a family member or close friend be a better caretaker?
  • Who would honor your memory?
Parents struggling with the issue of guardianship should answer these and other questions that are important to them and have a serious, rational conversation and come to an agreement on guardianship. Failing to reach an agreement on guardianship is tantamount to allowing a judge and social worker unknown to you and your children to decide guardianship.
Importantly, parents should identify 2 or 3 possible guardians, to ensure a back-up plan in the event one or more guardians are unable or unwilling to act as guardian. After you’ve agreed on a list of possible guardians, schedule a time to talk to each person about the issue of guardianship. Tell them: “We are meeting with our attorney to work on our estate plans and would like to talk to you about a few issues that are important to us.”

When you’re ready to have that conversation, here are some issues you should cover:
  • The ask: “We’ve thought a lot about the type of person/family we’d like to help raise our children in the event we were to pass away unexpectedly. We would be honored if you would consider acting as guardian of our children.” Let them know if there are family, religious, emotional, social, or other reasons that were important to you in selecting them as a possible guardian. You can also let them know if there are qualities or beliefs you hope they pass on to your children.
  • The arrangements you’ve made: “We’re meeting with our estate planning attorney to finalize ours wills/trust. We intend to make sure you are provided with the necessary finances to care for our children.” You may want to mention if you’ve purchase life insurance or have set up trusts to assist them financially. You can also discuss if you will allow them the choice to live in your home while they are raising your children.
  • Give them time: “We know this is a big responsibility. Please think about it and let us know if you will act as guardian.” Tell them when your next meeting with your attorney is and ask that they get back to you by then.
Choosing a guardian for your children is an enormous responsibility and should be taken seriously. But the importance of the decision should not be a reason to delay providing for your children.

Contributing Attorney: Allison Kierman is an attorney at Kierman Law, PLC where she provides assistance with estate planning and business consulting.

Comments:

QUESTIONS

  • my mother has guardianship of my daughter and i need to establish visitation rights for myself and my husband for our divorce
  • My son's biological father pays child support regularly (after being threatened with jail time by a judge) but is completely uninvolved in my son's life - hasn't seen him, talked to him, or asked about him for years. My current husband is an amazing father to my son. I have been researching legal guardianship to give some rights to my current husband since he is the one actively raising my son. What are the benefits/drawbacks to my current husband becoming a legal guardian? Would my ex be released from obligation to pay child support like he would be if my current husband adopted my son?
  • I have had my grandson since March 28,2007 right when my daughter got out of the hospital from having him. I have papers wrote up by her signed by her and myself saying he lives with me it is notarized as well. He is on my insurance i do all his school paperwork. She picked him up for a visit he didn't want to go but she told him if he don't she will have the cop's put me in jail!!! Now she is refusing to give him back to me!!! Is there anything i can do to bring him home right now!!!!
  • I live in kansas and my little sister is on phoenix. My mother and her father want to send her to live with me. I would like to know how to properly attain legal guardianship of her so that i can enroll her in school. I dont know what to do
  • My 22 year old daughter was arrested along with her boyfriend. They have a 2 year old child together. They were aressted for battery in the 3rd degree. My daughter spent 5 days in jail & the boyfriend spent 38 days in jail. With them being arrested, my grandchild how no where to go but with me. She is still with me & I don't know where the parents are. I have talked to my daughter a couple of times sense april. I asked her to give custody to me sense she Iis homeless & can not take care of her child. She refused. She did sign a notery so I could be able to take my grandaughter to the doctor
  • I want to get guardianship of my grandson who is 16 and living with my ex daughter in law,She is not related to him and does not want custody of him,She is separated from my son,the child belongs to my daughter who lost custody of him what do I need to do please help me
  • do I lose my rights to my child if a grandparent is apointed permanent guardian?
  • Is it legal for a child to be inside of a strip club as long as their adult guardian is with them?
  • Our family is relocting to another state. Our 16 year old daughter is not wanting to go and says "she refuses." We are an average American family and never had a problem with our daughter. She does well in school and my wife and I have always held very good jobs. What are her rights as a minor and ours as parents. She is claiming that if she runs away, she legally cannot be "forced" to go home.
  • My son got custody of his two boys about three years ago before that we had them for a year. There mom just left. If I want to be the guardian in case something happened to my son. Would there mom have a say so on this. She doesn't do anything for them. She is not allowed to see them. If she does see them her mom has to be there. Which is maybe once every two three months.

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