Selecting a Guardian for Your Minor ChildrenAccording to a recent survey, only 36% of U.S. parents with minor children have a will. This means that 64% of children do not have a legal guardian selected for them by their parents in the event of the unexpected. Instead, these children will be the subject of guardianship proceedings by the state court system and social services department. In the same way that parents aim to protect their children during life, parents should act to avoid such circumstances and instead ensure their children are well taken care of in the event something where to happen to them.
Choosing a guardian can be overwhelming. Many couples have not finalized their will and estate plans simply because they cannot agree on a guardian. Parents should not delay for this reason. Parents should think about what qualities are most important to them in a possible future caretaker for their children. Consider the following questions:
- Who will love your children in your absence?
- Who will afford your children a safe, stable environment?
- Are there social or religious qualities that are important to you?
- Where do you want your children to live and be raised?
- Who has qualities you respect and admire and would want passed on to your children?
- Would a family member or close friend be a better caretaker?
- Who would honor your memory?
Importantly, parents should identify 2 or 3 possible guardians, to ensure a back-up plan in the event one or more guardians are unable or unwilling to act as guardian. After you’ve agreed on a list of possible guardians, schedule a time to talk to each person about the issue of guardianship. Tell them: “We are meeting with our attorney to work on our estate plans and would like to talk to you about a few issues that are important to us.”
When you’re ready to have that conversation, here are some issues you should cover:
- The ask: “We’ve thought a lot about the type of person/family we’d like to help raise our children in the event we were to pass away unexpectedly. We would be honored if you would consider acting as guardian of our children.” Let them know if there are family, religious, emotional, social, or other reasons that were important to you in selecting them as a possible guardian. You can also let them know if there are qualities or beliefs you hope they pass on to your children.
- The arrangements you’ve made: “We’re meeting with our estate planning attorney to finalize ours wills/trust. We intend to make sure you are provided with the necessary finances to care for our children.” You may want to mention if you’ve purchase life insurance or have set up trusts to assist them financially. You can also discuss if you will allow them the choice to live in your home while they are raising your children.
- Give them time: “We know this is a big responsibility. Please think about it and let us know if you will act as guardian.” Tell them when your next meeting with your attorney is and ask that they get back to you by then.
Contributing Attorney: Allison Kierman is an attorney at Kierman Law, PLC where she provides assistance with estate planning and business consulting.
What ( if any ) court papers do I need to fill out if I wish to grant custody of my daughter to my mother if anything should happen to me? Or is a handwritten notarized paper sufficient enough?
My parents have agreed to give up guardian ship. Whats the fastes way to have my aunt at least have some legal control over my life. WITHOUT court
my husband left me and my children, he is the father of our 6 yo daughter. He has been gone almost 2 months, and has not helped out financially at all. My question is, in the event of my death or incapacities, how do I grant my parents legal custody of my daughter. I am wondering if I can type a letter and have it notarized since we have not started divorce proceedings at this point in time. I just want to make sure my parents get my children in case of tragedy.
MY FRIEND NEEDS SUPPORT RAISING HER SON. THE FATHER IS NOT AROUND. THE TODDLER'S MOM ISN'T STABLE AND I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE OVER OF HIS MEDICAL. WHAT INITIAL STEPS MUST I TAKE.
Is it legal for a child to be inside of a strip club as long as their adult guardian is with them?
My stepdaughter was ordered a guardian at age 18, her father. She is now 24 and wants to have that terminated. how is it done?
We are seeking to get guardianship of our grandson who is 1. Our daughter lives with us & he stays with me 95% of the time, however she does not provide financial care for him. We believe she has some mental issues that need to be addressed, although she refuses to seek care. When she chooses to care for him, she makes choices that are neglectful & at times putting him in danger. How do we accomplish this task with her living in our home, proving the issues we see daily, keeping him safe with us & hoping she gets the help she needs.
I need to know if all petitioners on a guardianship application must appear in court. We are filing for guardianship of my almost 18 yr old son with Down Syndrome.
My husband's niece has two daughters in foster care in Mesa. We live in Alabama and are interested in becoming the girls guardians. She has a restraining order against her Mother. Will there be an issue with being insufficiently close kin?
I have had my grandson since March 28,2007 right when my daughter got out of the hospital from having him. I have papers wrote up by her signed by her and myself saying he lives with me it is notarized as well. He is on my insurance i do all his school paperwork. She picked him up for a visit he didn't want to go but she told him if he don't she will have the cop's put me in jail!!! Now she is refusing to give him back to me!!! Is there anything i can do to bring him home right now!!!!
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